Modern wheat a "perfect, chronic poison," doctor says

Picked up this article and thought I would share here along with the accompanying video.

(CBS News) Modern wheat is a "perfect, chronic poison," according to Dr. William Davis, a cardiologist who has published a book all about the world's most popular grain.

Davis said that the wheat we eat these days isn't the wheat your grandma had: "It's an 18-inch tall plant created by genetic research in the '60s and '70s," he said on "CBS This Morning." "This thing has many new features nobody told you about, such as there's a new protein in this thing called gliadin. It's not gluten. I'm not addressing people with gluten sensitivities and celiac disease. I'm talking about everybody else because everybody else is susceptible to the gliadin protein that is an opiate. This thing binds into the opiate receptors in your brain and in most people stimulates appetite, such that we consume 440 more calories per day, 365 days per year."

Asked if the farming industry could change back to the grain it formerly produced, Davis said it could, but it would not be economically feasible because it yields less per acre. However, Davis said a movement has begun with people turning away from wheat - and dropping substantial weight.

"If three people lost eight pounds, big deal," he said. "But we're seeing hundreds of thousands of people losing 30, 80, 150 pounds. Diabetics become no longer diabetic; people with arthritis having dramatic relief. People losing leg swelling, acid reflux, irritable bowel syndrome, depression, and on and on every day."

To avoid these wheat-oriented products, Davis suggests eating "real food," such as avocados, olives, olive oil, meats, and vegetables. "(It's) the stuff that is least likely to have been changed by agribusiness," he said. "Certainly not grains. When I say grains, of course, over 90 percent of all grains we eat will be wheat, it's not barley... or flax. It's going to be wheat.

"It's really a wheat issue."

Some health resources, such as the Mayo Clinic, advocate a more balanced diet that does include wheat. But Davis said on "CTM" they're just offering a poor alternative.

"All that literature says is to replace something bad, white enriched products with something less bad, whole grains, and there's an apparent health benefit - 'Let's eat a whole bunch of less bad things.' So I take...unfiltered cigarettes and replace with Salem filtered cigarettes, you should smoke the Salems. That's the logic of nutrition, it's a deeply flawed logic. What if I take it to the next level, and we say, 'Let's eliminate all grains,' what happens then?

"That's when you see, not improvements in health, that's when you see transformations in health."

Watch Davis' full interview in the video above.

Source:  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505269_162-57505149/modern-wheat-a-perfect-chronic-poison-doctor-says/

Candice's Low Carb Apple Cinnamon Muffins

I was searching for a low carb holiday treat and ran across these muffins at "Your Lighter Side" (http://www.yourlighterside.com).  Made a half batch and they turned out delicious.  Thanks for posting the original recipe and sharing.

I did not get a photo but I made a small batch of cream cheese icing and drizzled it over the top as well which made it very rich and tasty.








Candice’s Low-Carb Apple Cinnamon Muffins

Ingredients:

For 12 muffins:
1 3/4 cup Vanilla Whey Protein Powder
1/4 cup ground almonds
1 cup granulated Splenda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 SMALL apple


For 6 muffins:
3/4 cup + 2 Tablespoons Vanilla Whey Protein Powder
2 Tablespoons ground almonds
1/2 cup granulated Splenda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup water
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 SMALL apple

Preheat oven 350F.

Line muffin tin with paper liners. Wash apple, then peel and chop or grate on a cheese grater. Set aside.
In large bowl mix vanilla whey protein powder, ground almonds, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg, then set aside. In a smaller bowl mix eggs, heavy cream, water, oil, and vanilla only enough to break up the eggs a little. Add in Splenda. Using the spatula to mix, add the cut up apple to the dry ingredients until the apples are coated. Make a well in the middle of the bowl and add your wet ingredients, mixing only until everything is wet. DO NOT OVER MIX or you will end up with a tough bread( this is true for all quick breads). Spoon in to prepared muffin pan. Bake at 350F for 18-20 minutes.

Makes 6-12 muffins.

Nutritional information per muffin: Calories: 146, Carbohydrates: 4.92 g, Sugars: 1.15 g, Fiber: 0.63 g, Net Carbohydrates: 4.29 g, Protein: 10.04 g, Fat: 10.88 g

Baconnaise

Ingredients
Makes: 2 cups

5 egg yolks
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
7 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
1¼ cups rendered bacon fat
½ teaspoon fine sea salt
Freshly ground black pepper to taste

Preparation method
Prep: 15 mins
1.
Chill all the ingredients and utensils (including your mixing bowl) down to about 40°F. Don’t skip this step or the mayonnaise may break.
2.
Put the egg yolks, mustard, and 1½ teaspoons of the lemon juice into a blender or mixing bowl. Beat on high for 2 minutes, until well blended.
3.
Add in the bacon fat (no need to add gradually if everything’s properly chilled), continuing to beat until the mixture is thick. Depending on how thick and rich you like your mayonnaise you may or may not need the entire amount of fat.
4.
Slowly blend in the remaining lemon juice, sea salt and pepper, whipping it pretty much continuously throughout. Adjust seasoning to taste.
Tip

The mayonnaise keeps for a couple of weeks in the refrigerator.

Low Carb Southwestern Chicken Soup

So as promised I made a batch of this a week or so ago and wanted to document the recipe for myself as much as sharing.  This is a variation of another recipe I found online that uses ground beef but I prefer chicken in this type of stew.  So here it goes.

4 Chicken Breast
1 8oz Pack Cream Cheese
2 Cans Rotel
1/2 Cup Diced Onion
2 Cups Chicken Stock
1/2 Cup unsweetened Almond Milk
1 tbsp Chili Powder
2 Garlic Cloves (Minced)

Roast the chicken salt & pepper to taste.  While the chicken is cooking combine the other ingredients in a crock or stock pot and bring to a slow boil then reduce heat.  When the chicken is done let it cool and "pull" it into small chunks.  Throw that in the pot and let it all simmer for an hour or so.

The stew does not take long to cook but similar to Chili the taste will improve the longer it sits in the crock pot.  It makes a creamy soup similar in consistency to chowder.  I ate it with a small dab of sour cream on top and a little hot sauce.

I am going to add some Jicama and Cactus to it next time and see how that taste.  You could also carb it up if you wanted with some white beans or corn.  Either one or both would probably be really good in this.

Will also remember to take photo's of the finished product with the next batch.  However, low-carb chili is next on the list so it will have to wait a few weeks.

Reboot!

Time to reboot!  Shortly after starting Insanity I aggravated my left shoulder again.  Perhaps to much to quick and so I hung it up for a couple of weeks to heal.  Two idle weeks and nothing to do but sit around and get fat has means my weight is up 5 pounds.  Ugh, still managed a few Mountain bike rides which probably did not help but I can't just sit still for 2 weeks.

So yesterday the weather was crap, clocks have been set back and for the first time in a long time I opted to head to the gym instead of the streets.  First thing, I am really out of practice from gym visits.  Forgot to bring my socks for running and goggles to swim.  Wore my dress socks to run and just decided to abuse my core since I could not swim.  Obliques are a little tender today but I must admit it was fun to do something a bit different.

Regarding my weight and keeping a long story short it is once again clear to me that I am just not capable of eating carbs beyond the minimum requirements needed to fuel a workout.  So last Monday I reluctantly moved back to low-carb diet.  At the time I was bummed about my lack of control with carbs and sweets but now that I am clean again I remember why I had so much success doing this before.  I feel incredible!

My diet has been pretty simple so far but for those of you who wonder what a typical day for a low-carb dieter looks like here is my menu for today.

Breakfast - 2 Whole Eggs (Microwave Scrambled), 3 thin slices of smoked ham (2 oz)
Lunch - Baked Salmon w/Butter, Steamed Peppers/Squash, Broccoli w/Cheese
Dinner - Southwestern Chicken Soup (Recipe to Come)
Snack - Dunno yet?

So now that I have rebooted I am feeling more stable and mentally prepared to get things going the right way.  Excellent timing as well with the Holiday's coming and keeping me on my toes and on plan.  Would hate for that 5 pounds to turn into 10 or more.

2012 Salsa Mamasita

I have been looking for a new Mountain bike for next season and came across a close out of a 2012 Salsa Mamasita.  On the fence here but the price is making it very tempting to go buy it now.

Being a short guy this bike in particular has a very low stand-over height for a 29er compared to other similar bikes.

Next year I am planning on adding some XTerra races to my calendar and this bike is designed with speed and racing in mind.  What to do, what to do...

Insanity Week 2

It has been a busy week with the kids sports, UofL football game and other things.  However, I was able to get in my workouts as planned.

Week 2 is going a little better than last, I am getting used to the movements and language so I don't find myself checking the TV as often to figure out what the heck is going on.
Week 3 will bring 2-a-days occasionally and I am considering starting them now as I don't feel like I am being challenged enough at times.  Yes the workout is brutally hard to get through but I still think that when I am done I have some fuel left in the tank.  I have been running as well at night 3 times per week which helps feed the endurance beast but I need more core work.

The video Cardio Abs I am going to add in now on any night that I have Pure Cardio or Plyometric Circuit.  This should help to wear me down a bit more and perhaps build up my core.

Back on track with my diet as well and feeling stronger each day.  It will take some time to get completely used to being on an full blown Atkins diet but it's worth it for how much better I feel.  In addition I am already dropping some of that Ironman weight I gained while eating all of the sugary crap that was required at times to finish those long workouts.

On On

Insanity Day 1 - The Fit Test

So Ironman is over and I am onto the next challenge.  Next year I want to run my first Full Marathon as a stand alone event.  One thing I found though during my training for IM that weight loss does not go hand and hand with endurance training.  So I am going to focus for the next 4 months on getting my weight down about 25-30 pounds and then start ramping up running again in Jan.  During this time I plan to continue to run but just limit it to fun runs and short distances maxing at maybe 6-8 miles.

The second component is to get my diet back inline which I did last week and I already feel better.  I understand that being on low-carb will make workouts a bit more challenging I will adapt just like before after 3 or 4 months.  By then hopefully my weight will be back where it needs to be just in time for running to start increasing.

Insanity Fit Test last night. Wow, it was harder than I thought and I felt a little pain in several areas that I guess I have negleted during the last year. Movements where a little tricky as well, so I am hoping that I see improvements in 2 weeks just based on feeling more comfortable with the movements.


I am also going to use this time to get my running partner, Zoey my dog, back into shape.  She is great to run with but I was worried about the heat this summer and as my runs kept getting longer and longer I found her dragging a bit so I stopped taking her.  She was very excited to go out for a short 3 mile run tonight although I have to remember to not feed her just before.  I think she had a bit of a stomach ache from a full tummy.

Ironman Louisville Race Report

First off I want to start by thanking my Wife and Kids for allowing me to have this opportunity and helping me along the way.  Without these guys propping me up there is no way any of this would have been possible.  It was a hot day and they toughed it out right along beside me by placing themselves all over the course throughout the day while I was out goofing off once again.

Also thanks to Pops for spending some time walking with me on the run, Mike & Deanna and Kyle for venturing out and being at the swim and run, Jeff & Jason and Aaron for the boost at the turn on the bike and greeting me at the finish, Chris for grabbing my bike and being there for me, Uncle Tony for popping out of the quiet stretches and cheering me on, Steve & Lisa for being there at the beginning of the run, Greg and Melissa for the Diet Mountain Dew even though I did not have any and Dax yelling at me as I exited out on the bike course. Harry& Howard at the overpass water stop Volunteering and also the Landsharks that littered the course and were constantly giving me a boost.

My biggest concern for this race was the run and as it turned out it was like a big giant party because of all of you. I had a blast on the run despite my pain and discomfort thanks to you guys.

So on to the Race Blog and for those of you not familiar with Ironman it is a race that requires you to Swim 2.4 miles, Bike 112 and Finish off with a Full Marathon (26.2 miles) for a total of 140.6 miles.  You are typically allotted a time limit of 17 hours.

Swim Time:  1:30:32
T1: 11:00
Bike Time:  6:53:05
T2:  23:48
Run Time:  6:15:13
Total Time:  15:13:38



Pre-race routine:

Up at 3:30. Quick bit to eat and got the coffee going, I typically have 1 cup prior to a race.

Swim

Jumped in the water and suddenly realized I forgot to turn on my Garmin. Ughh. Swam a 100M or so and decided I would be upset if I did not so I rolled over on my back and turned it on. Of course I had to wait for it to pick up a Satellite then navigate the menu's to swim and start. Got swam over a couple of times while I was piddling with this.

Once I passed the end of towhead island I caught a brief glimpse of the big blow up at the turnaround. Holy crap that thing is really, really far away. I thought it was just past the island, not even close.

I had to pee really bad for the last 1500M or so and let myself drift out into the main channel so I could relax and go. However, I guess the guy on my left was drafting on me and sighting off of me because he followed me out and kept brushing my heel which made it impossible to concentrate and go.

In the end it did not matter, for some reason when I downloaded all of the data to garmin connect there was nothing available but my time. It missed all of the GPS data which is what I was hoping for because my navigation was terrible and I was really curious to see just how far out in the channel I was.


T1

I planned to completely change at each transition which took a little extra time but I figured comfort trumped the few extra minutes it would take. It was total chaos inside the change tent and the Volunteers did and outstanding job of making sure we had everything we needed.

Still had to pee something terrible which made changing difficult as I was tapping my feet while switching clothes and that. Eventually made it out of the tent and ran to the port-o-let for what seemed like the longest piss I have ever taken.

Bike

For the first 9 miles it's really flat and I was having to force myself to slow down and stay in the 18MPH pace that I planned for this segment. It was hard not playing chase when other riders passed but I knew this was going to be a long day and I needed to be conservative early. My plan was to keep my HR in the 135 range for the first 30 miles or so while I got comfortable and then settle in allowing it to rise to 140's for the remainder.

All was going to plan, cadence was right, legs felt great and all of those concerns of over tapering where disappearing. It was beginning to occur to me that this was really happening and I was finally doing my Ironman that I had been training for. Woo Hoo!

Around mile 40 I passed a friend from the local tri club and he was looking a little pale and miserable. Checked on him and he said he was going to bail. Ackk! Reality set in and I started making sure I was paying attention to the details. Started over analyzing all of my nutrition worried I may succumb to the same fate if I am not careful.

About the time I am about to go crazy I pass my Wife and Kids. Forgot all about that other stuff and continued on. They made some signs but I could not read them very well between sun and the sweat in my eyes when I raised my head up from the aerobars.

Riding through Lagrange was very cool, lots of spectators and cheers in downtown and had a great time on what felt like a really fast moving parade. On On

Somewhere around mile 60 things started to go a little south. I was developing hot spots on each foot and it was making each peddle stroke painful. I could not figure out why this was happening since I was doing everything the same as I had done all year. Each hill was agony as there is really no way to climb without mashing a bit so I tried to alter my peddle stroke and go toe down which helped a bit.

I was really looking forward to seeing my Family again and taking a moment to say hello now that I knew where they were. I rolled up on them and stopped to give them each a hug. It was a great feeling and helped me forget about my feet for a bit.

Quick stop right after my visit at the restroom and grabbed my special needs bag. I had pringles and a coke in there and I thought it would be nice to have something different. Ate about 5-6 pringles and soda was a little to fizzy so I just had a couple of swigs and back on the bike.

My feet were killing me at this point and I was questioning not only how I could continue but how was I planning to run with these massive hot spots that I could tell were beginning to blister as well. Just kept reminding myself that the course "trends" downhill at the turn onto 42 and I could get to the end of the bike as long as I made to there.

I had stopped managing my nutrition while I was thinking about my feet and now I was getting sick. By mile 85 I was ready to vomit and pulled off to do a little dry heaving. On to mile 95 and I knew I was close, my stomach was a mess so I stopped one more time to try and puke. During this time I had not been taking in any fluids and by the time I realized I was out of everything I was already past the last stop. Ughh.

River Rd, pain is unbearable at this point and I was struggling to maintain 15MPH on the flat road. Riders kept passing and I saw full bottles in their cages. I wanted to ask for a drink but did not want to mess anyone else up. At this point I am only 6-7 miles out and no way I am stopping now. Just make it to transition and evaluate my condition once I can get some fluids.

T2

My family once again came to the rescue as they were there cheering me on right before I pulled into transition. Then my Brother caught my bike. We had a brief exchange and I probably made no sense as I don't remember any of our conversation. I was just happy to see him and the even more happy to be off of that f-ing bike.

Peeled off my shoes and started a slow walk/jog to the tent. Jumped off the pavement and onto the grass to help my feet out a little. As soon as I rounded the corner I noticed about a dozen guys lying next to the tent. Just tried to ignore them so I would not be tempted to join them.

One of the Volunteers in the tent found me a seat and brought me 3 cups of ice water and a perform right away. He was awesome. I sat for a minute or so trying to figure out what to do. I was a little delirious and sick still so I just decided I would start drinking one perform and one water as quick as he could bring them to me. I also found a gel and 2 fun size Payday bars that had been sitting in the sun. Warm and gooey they were so good. This was helping and I was perking up a bit.

Still had no idea how I was going to run with my feet all jacked up but after about 20 minutes of drinking and eating my head and stomach were coming around. I finally just decided that it was now or never and the only way to know if I could run was to just go. Out the door I went.

Run

I came out of transition and my Son was there encouraging me to run. That did not last long, hah. I ran about a block where the rest of the Family was and we spoke for a few minutes. I told them that I was a little dehydrated from the bike and not feeling very well. My Brother In Law, who is a Nurse, sighed a bit and looked concerned and I remember running off thinking he knows how quick that can turn bad and hoping he did not share that concern with Amy and have her worry.

OK, legs felt great, feet hurt like a crazy but I was adapting quickly and stomach was coming around. Just figured I would walk the bridge and evaluate if I could continue after this 2 mile or so stretch. First water stop had Soda's and Chips and the thought of another drink of perform was nauseating. I grabbed a handful of chips and a soda, those just might have been the best potato chips I have ever eaten in my life.

Back around for my second pass and another handful of chips and another soda and I was really starting to feel great. Looking at my Garmin I realized it was only about 4:30 and as long as I could manage the pain I was going to finish. Woo Hoo!

Passed the family again and stopped to say hello and let my Wife know I was feeling a lot better and ready to get this show going. I was planning to run .4 miles and walk .1 miles and see how long I could manage that. Turns out, not very long. hah

Made it to about mile 10 switching back and forth and between running and walking and the GI issues were returning. Pushed on that pace as best I could to the 13.1 mile mark. Another quick check of the Garmin, it's just past 7:30. I had 4.5 hours to finish a Half Marathon. I could walk slow and do that.

Ran into another guy from Kansas that was in about the same boat and we started talking and decided to stick it out together to the finish. Mile 15 takes you right towards the finish chute and I could hear the bells and cheers. I got really excited and as I turned right to make my second and final loop I was once again greeted by my family. It was awesome, again I have no idea what we talked about but we visited for a minute and I told them I had to go.

By now my feet were pretty well numb to the pain and I just kept moving. I could feel the blisters causing my feet to slide around in my shoe which was gross and I debated on what would happen if they popped. Hoping that my compression socks would hold everything together for another 10 miles or so.

By mile 24 I was pretty well done with running much more than a couple of hundred yards at a time. I was still with my friend and we decided that we would try to save enough in the tank to run the last 1/2 mile or so to the finish and just take it easy.

We both wanted to try and time our finish so that we were somewhat alone in the chute for the photo-op and that. When were started getting closer to downtown we started running with a quick thanks and goodbye. I let him run ahead and I just took it nice and easy. The crowd was growing and cheers were getting louder and I entered the finisher chute all alone screaming with excitement and looking everywhere for my family. I knew they were there but I could not see a thing between the euphoria and spotlights. Apparently I ran right into my Son's sign and was within a couple of feet of them but completely missed them.

One of my training friends was working as a finish line catcher and was there to greet me as I crossed the line. That was cool and he immediately pointed to my family who was now standing there waiting for me. I hugged my Wife and kids having a pretty emotional exchange that included a lot of tears and a bunch of hugs and high fives.


Post race

Warm down:

We walked to RiRa's where the Landsharks had setup camp. They had a beer tub full of ice water which sounded like a great idea until I actually jumped in. The cold water was too much and I jumped right back out.  Of course I had compression socks on that I could now not get off fast enough because they were soaked with ice cold water, duh.  Bought a beer and visited for a few then off to grab a something to eat at the finish line and up to the room.

Our room at the Hyatt overlooked the finish and I wanted to go down and watch but my body was done for the day so I sat up in the window and watched from there until they turned off the lights and the cheers stopped.  Then off to bed and some well deserved sleep.



What would you do differently?:

Now that it has been a couple of weeks and I have had time to process I feel like I could have maybe pushed a bit harder on the run.  I have never run a Marathon so this was a bit of a learning experience and I hate that I have a 6:15 time next to my only event of this distance.  So I am planning to fix that next year and do a stand alone Marathon with a goal closer to the 4-4:10 mark.

My concern was that I would have GI issues again and while my legs felt like they were ready to go everything else was saying just take it easy. I don't know, it was my first Ironman and I was so busy taking it all in on the run that I kind of forgot about my time enough to where I maybe went to easy.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Stumbled on this link today and it seemed appropriate considering it's my 44th Birthday. You can find the entire article at the following address:

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself


As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.


4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.


5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.


6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.


7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.


8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.


9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

To see the full list follow this link...
30 Things Full List

2012 IronMan Louisville Training Plan

The 27 Rules of Conquering the Gym

See the list below as reprinted from Jason Gay, New York Post.  Source:  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203471004577140900388728374.html?fb_ref=wsj_share_FB_bot&fb_source=home_oneline

This is the time of year when even people who hate the gym think about going to the gym. Many of us are still digesting whole floors of gingerbread houses, and jeans that fit comfortably in October are now a denim humiliation.

Sweating is a good way to begin 2012. Exercise, like dark chocolate and office meetings that suddenly get canceled, is a proven pathway to nirvana. But if you're going to join a gym—or returning to the gym after a long hibernation—consider the following:

1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.

2. Give yourself a goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you want to quarterback the New York Jets into the playoffs. But be warned: Losing 10 pounds is hard.

The New Year's push to lose weight is bringing crowds to gyms. Jason Gay offers tips to conquering the gym. Photo: Getty Images.

3. Develop a gym routine. Try to go at least three times a week. Do a mix of strength training and cardiovascular conditioning. After the third week, stop carrying around that satchel of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

4. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading "The New Yorker" and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.

5. Bring your iPod. Don't borrow the disgusting gym headphones, or use the sad plastic radio attachment on the treadmill, which always sounds like it's playing Kenny Loggins from a sewer.

6. Don't fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.

7. Yes, every gym has an overenthusiastic spinning instructor who hasn't bought a record since "Walking on Sunshine."

8. There's also the Strange Guy Who is Always at the Gym. Just when you think he isn't here today...there he is, lurking by the barbells.

9. "Great job!" is trainer-speak for "It's not polite for me to laugh at you."

10. Beware a hip gym with a Wilco step class.

11. Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after using them, and the worst people in the universe.

12. Nope, that's not a "recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate." That's a chocolate bar.

13. Avoid Unsolicited Advice Guy, who, for the small fee of boring you to death, will explain the proper method for any exercise in 45 minutes or longer.

14. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is also Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs—but that's super tough!

15. If you're motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider a "wooden coat rack." It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact same thing.

16. There's the yoga instructor everyone loves, and the yoga instructor everyone hates. Memorize who they are.

17. If you see an indoor rock climbing wall, you're either in a really cool gym or a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson.

18. Be cautious about any class with the words "sunrise," "hell," or "Moby."

19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it's hard. If you're relaxed and enjoying yourself, you're at brunch.

20. If you need to bring your children, just let them loose in the silent meditation class. Nobody minds, and kids love candles.

21. Don't buy $150 sneakers, $100 yoga pants, and $4 water. Muscle shirts are for people with muscles, and rhythm guitarists.

22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches and fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you're basically paying for a boutique hotel with B.O.

23. Everyone sees you secretly racing the old people in the pool.

24. If you're at the point where you've bought biking shoes for the spinning class, you may as well go ahead and buy an actual bike. It's way more fun and it doesn't make you listen to C+C Music Factory.

25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.

26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it's good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it's not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.

27. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end.