Monday, September 13, 2010

... vs. Cupcake

Confessional time...perhaps this will snap me out of my funk.

I have been at goal for about a year now. After review in Jan I determined that I could easily lose another 15 pounds or so. Well after about 8 months of trying and dropping at most 2 lbs to 173 I just cannot seem to drop it. More or less threw in the towel and spent the last couple of weeks sulking and whining. Back up to 177 this morning and have been eating things like popcorn and even had a cupcake yesterday! This was the first time any such treat has passed my lips in over 2 years.

Stepping back and look at this logically I can see that this is the part where many people start packing on the pounds again. How easy would that be to do at this point. I find myself trying harder each time some opportunity for a treat to say no and even then it no longer feels like a natural response but rather a forced painful decision. Why can’t I have a piece of cake? WTF! I mean I eat right all the time and coupled with exercise I should not have any problem managing a piece of cake or some ice cream.

Of course the logical side of me know exactly why I cannot afford to indulge but the human side is growing restless. That slope is not that steep, I pulled myself out once, I can certainly do it again?

In addition to getting lazy on my WOE I also finished up my last race for 2010 which has me a little in the dumps as well since there is really nothing to train for. Since I only found the time to do 1 Triathlon so it just seemed somewhat bitter sweet to cross the finish. Ughh…

Overall I am pretty disappointed in my progress this year regarding fitness and weight loss.

So as much as I enjoyed that brief slide down towards the abyss, I decided it was time to grab a root and hold on before it gains momentum. For now I have conceded to continuing by training to maintain fitness at a relatively moderate level. I will race the Hangover Classic 10 Miler on New Years Day again which gives me something to look forward to as well. Amy and I will be discussing in January on whether or not I will be doing a Full Ironman next year or limit it to a Half Iron. While both would be a lot of fun and I am not opposed to waiting on IM I just feeling a little lost on what the heck I am doing all of this for right now. IM is such a huge commitment of time for not only me but the entire family and there no way I would do it without knowing they were all onboard.

My favorite saying of late has been “Nobody goes to the park for a picnic and sets out their spread right next to a pile of dog shit on purpose. Stop worrying about the details and enjoy the good stuff”. While unintentional, I think I found the pile of poo and I need to find a clearing again.

BTW…that cupcake was gooooood! ;)