Tuesday, January 5, 2010

New Year, New Resolutions

For the New Year I was inspired by a recent sermon in Church that suggested something completely contrary to my current way of thinking. It was a simple statement that I should adopt but somehow rocks the very core of what I have been doing for the past 40+ years.

"More of Him, Less of Me"

How simple is this? In the context of the sermon it meant to put God first and I should try to fade into the background as tool for his service. How is this possible in our modern era? I find myself wrestling with this as I have spent my entire life in a selfish endeavor to achieve. What I am not sure of exactly, I just seem to be so focused on moving forward with my own personal goals that I may have lost sight of the big picture.

Well, {Gasp} perhaps it’s not all about me. Obviously this is not some epiphany or so far from mainstream that it should shock the world. My Wife has suggested this on occasion, like when I plopped down 10 grand on a motorcycle or made decisions and just expected her to get on board. Maybe she was onto something but I was too blinded by ambition to achieve some goal or get what I wanted that I stepped on a few to get there.

I am no stranger to patting myself on the back for my successes and every bit as critical of my failures. However, I tend to wrestle with my failures in private and praise myself in public. Failure is a sign of weakness and should be acknowledged but not advertised has always been my thinking. I have always joked to myself that I am somewhat of a narcissist, sounds more acceptable if said off the cuff in company. However, I got curious and decided to look up the true definition of the word.

The dictionary defines the word as an “inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.”

Ouch…is that really me?

Further, I decided that I would look at how other sources would define the term. Wiki would describe it as follows.

“The term narcissism refers to the personality trait of egotism, which includes the set of character traits concerned with self-image ego. The terms narcissism, narcissistic and narcissist are often used as pejoratives, denoting vanity, conceit, egotism or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others”.

Ackk!!! WTH? When did I take this path? I always thought of narcissist in the more comedic sense as portrayed on Seinfield. You know Jerry, George, Elaine always looking out for #1. Seinfield, funny, right? It’s funny and fun to be a little narcissistic, right? So what exactly was Kyle implying that I should put God and me in some order other than what it is now?

While last year I spent a lot of time reflecting on some of my successes that have been a long time coming. It never occurred to me that the big picture has had its hand up patiently for 41 years and I never noticed it. So I am acknowledging that request now and thanks to Kyle for pointing out the obvious. For the New Year I do have some specific goals for 2010 and I don’t think I can just stop my path forward. However, Kyle has reminded me that my personal goals should not come at a cost to others including God and while they may be important the big picture is still “More of Him, Less of Me”.

So here it goes…

“More of Him, Less of Me”

“More of Him, Less of Me”

“More of Him, Less of Me”

“More of Him, Less of Me”

“More of Him, Less of Me”

“More of Him, Less of Me”

“More of Him, Less of Me”

“More of Him, Less of Me”

“More of Him, Less of Me”

Lastly I would like to point out that I need to also repeat these same prayers in regards to my Family. I am a fan of simple and often remind myself to stop thinking and do it. That being said, no more planning or talking about how, when or why. Faith, Family, …Self. Stop Thinking and Do It!

"More of Him, Less of Me" in 2010.

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